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My Own Form Of Glitter Candy Coated wish Upon A Star- New- Scar Self Destruction [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
::.x Ka † e x .::

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And this. [Aug. 18th, 2009|03:44 am]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My Room]
[Feeling |draineddrained]
[Screaming |I know your fucking someone else-Type O Negative]

This month has been nothing but a dramatic and fucked up hell for me. I was so excited for this month and for my 21st birthday but it seems that drama just seems to find me no matter what. I feel that people who say they care about are really just full of shit sometimes.People just want to benefit themselves when it comes down it it and they will trample and step right over you even when you tell them that they can hurt you and they disregard that. I should have never loved him, I should have ended it the day he told me it was over and never looked back and tried to have been "Friends" with ex's there is no chance of that. I should have never tried to. I wish I could let all these feelings go like I did,but instead I was being lead on somehow. In the end guys just want to have sex with everything and anyone,Lust does conquer all I guess.I hope one day he realizes I loved him and that no one will love him or care or give a shit about him the way I do. I have walked over hot coals and did all I could to help. It was me who was there when you went through all your shit,the good times,the horrible times and I didn't desert you for anything I was always there to support you and your music. I was a shoulder to cry on in the worst times.In the end you gave me nothing,when I was alone and hurting and needed help at times you were hardly there or a friend. I was jealous I will admit and I tried to fight that as hard as I could. It is so hard to stop loving someone completely. I wonder if you even loved me at all sometimes because you could give me up so easily and just ignore me as well and then shove my mistakes and faults all down my throat,sorry I could never be as cold and unfeeling and as perfect as you are. What is the funny part is you will realize one way or the other that you will miss me and you will come back like you always do. For now I will leave you alone and maybe I won't even think of you,all the memories the good times mean shit,I wonder if you even think of them at all? I wish I had you back the you who always smiled and joked and was there when I was sick and went places with me and said I missed you and meant it. I am just hoping I can be strong and patient and that this month can somehow be saved and that things happen for a reason. Believe me karma is a bitch and what goes around will come back around again.Thats all for now I just needed to let it all out.
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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2009|05:27 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My Room]
[Feeling |boredbored]
[Screaming |The Dirty Glass-Dropkick Murphys]

So I hung out at the bar with Janice on Friday and it was really fun,Jack just happened to be there haha! So it was a fun time and I attempted to flirt with some guy and pretty much embarrassed myself as usual,oh well. At least I took control of the jukebox and the music was ok and I had a lot of drinks. Jack got himself very very drunk but all in all he was okay and we walked back to his house and some creepy and crazy bum was like following us forever and it was horrible and luckily this cab driver that Jack was friends with found us and we got back to his house and I slept over there. Always a crazy time. Then on Saturday I went to a show with Eryck at Fin's it was really fun a lot of good bands including Suppressed Theory, I always have fun at shows so. And today I cashed in my taxes and then also got paid so it's pretty good aside from the fact I literally have nothing at all to do now,ugh.Go figure money and nothing to do and it's rainy and usually I love the rain sooo much but now its just dreary to me. So I am sitting here. And tomorrow I have my roadtest which I hopefully pass this time and if I don't I will be pissed as hell. Well thats really all for now.


Cruelly Yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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(no subject) [Mar. 30th, 2009|07:09 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My Room]
[Feeling |determineddetermined]
[Screaming |Within Temptation]

So I am trying to help my little Daisy dachshund get better everyday.Trying to get her little hind legs up and going everyday with exercise and physical therapy and hope for a somewhat full recovery and not paralysis because that would break my heart even more. She is such a feisty and fiery little thing it would kill me to see her paralyzed like that. But she is eating and going to the bathroom all on her own which is awesome, So i have so much hope for her. She is always my constant canine companion who I love unconditionally and she returns that. She is more then a best friend to me and I will do whatever I can to help the poor little thing, It just hurts seeing her so down and the fact she is confused of why her back legs can't move or that she can't wag her tail,ugh. Sometimes thing just aren't fair at all. I guess there is only time and waiting and patience. Well moving on I guess. School was out early today had a periodontal lecture today which was ridiculously graphic. Even the money it pays I could not do that assisting yuck. Then I came back here and now I will try and relax and just watch my little doxie. Thats it for now.


Cruelly yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2009|09:52 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My Room]
[Feeling |coldcold]
[Screaming |Good Enough-Evanescence]

So to write. Well Tomorrow I get to observe in Pediatrics in school which I am very excited for and its Friday! Hung out with Jack,Danielle and John and Amanda at Jack's house yesterday it was fun to get out. I really just cannot wait for the weekend already though I do have work. I just hope the weekend doesn't pass me by again and that I am stuck here.
I wish I had some more to write actually, Well I am trying to let my hair actually grow really long now so that should be good. And Spring break is around the corner as well and I hope I get to do something awesome. I also have my 2nd road test in April as well. Daisy my little puppy is sick and I really hope she's ok, I love that dog so much. She is always there when most aren't and doesn't care as pets love unconditionally. So I hope whatever is wrong with her can be fixed. Thats all I feel like writing in this now.



Cruelly Yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2009|11:19 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My Room]
[Feeling |soresore]

Well.I am utterly tired and achy. I am also ridiculously bored and stuck here on a Saturday Night. I was supposed to hang out with Jack but stuff came up at his house,not his fault of course. It just sucks because thats what I had planned to do tonight was to hang out with him and do whatever. I spent all day working, my job dressing up as the statue of Liberty for some insurance company and waving at traffic. Laugh all you want because it pays well and I don't have to do much. The only thing that sucks is now I have a horrible sunburn on my face and arms ugh,The weather just seemed cold not even like the sun would be out as much,oh well. It was fun getting cars and huge trucks to honk haha, even though some assholes in this world adults none the less gave me the finger, it's like if you don't like New York then get out! My arms and shoulders and hands are killing me now like I pulled something so I am just trying not to move really even typing right now hurts bleh. I have to do it all again tomorrow at 12 in the afternoon but at least I can sleep later then today waking up at 9.I just want something to do right now and not have to just lay down and sleep and mindlessly watch the t.v. Well at least yesterday was fun. I went barhopping in Lindy with Janice. We pretty much stayed at the Railhouse, I made the mistake of telling her we should go to the village pub. We went in there and she just wanted to do makeup and wanted me to go into the restroom with her and I guess they thought we were blowing lines or something. This tall big asshole raps at the door loudly and asks for I.d. and Janice is of age to drink but her I.d. says under 21. So we got kicked out the backdoor into an alleyway and this macho asshole was all like "I am an offduty cop and can arrest you right now"Pssht we didn't even drink at that point. So we stayed at the railhouse and there was karaoke haha it was amusing at least. I stayed there til like 2 in the morning. At least Janice gave me some boots and a new plaid skirt she didn't wear anymore. Who knows what Tomorrow will bring I guess hopefully fun and not this crap right now. And its so weird without Dani being here as he is on vacation in Las Vegas it is way too quiet now I am used to like all the noise of him having company. Well I just don't feel like typing much else so thats it for now.


Cruelly yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2009|09:59 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |my room]
[Feeling |lonelylonely]
[Screaming |Bloodguilt Eucharist-Goatwhore]

So I need to write in here more. I don't know why I just haven't.
Anyway yesterday I went after school to a show with Danielle and mr. michael at Traxx to see Mike's new band Dyskordia. It was a fun time even though I heard one half of a song really by them and then the rest of the bands. There were a lot of people there last night so it was fun. Even though Mike left early because he didn't feel good or something like that,it sucks I really don't ever get to even hang with him much anymore at all as it were. I also for some reason lately have been wanting to hang out with him badly as if I am wanting or waiting for something to happen between us ugh. I thought I could just move on and such but nothing has arisen for me aside from hanging out with all my awesome friends a lot. I have no idea why I am holding on I thought I was doing great because things were good for a while and he'd always want to hang and I was busy and now the tables have turned I guess. I am not sure what to do,I guess I will take everything in stride. Anyway moving on. Today was cool other then the fact it seems that I am stuck at home on a Saturday night now. I hate being stuck home and it sucks being 20 let me tell you and I won't be 21 til like 5 months and at the end of Summer, All my friends either just turned 21 or are past it and I can't even hang out in half the bars because of not being 21 it just sucks. I am just so bored right now and I am thinking of just sleeping because there is nothing for me to be doing at all. Go figure every day that I have school the next day there is always something fun to do. Well thats all I feel like writing now.

Cruelly Yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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I know this world is changing Never gave in.... [Jan. 21st, 2009|01:47 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |Room]
[Screaming |Counting The days- Cephalic Carnage]

SO here i am. Finally a new president.Thank the damn stars. Times have been pretty good as of late really. Been hanging out with a lot of cool people and such. Except for right now. I am totally sick from a cold. Fuck snow and winter and I didn't go to school today. I really should have though,I know I will get bitched at severely by my teacher tomorrow for missing tooth carving and composites by dr. Pardo but I don't think I honestly could have survived class today I would have still been in school suffering. I was up til 3 in the morning sick and my nose was leaking out,gross I know. I won't be absent anymore though And I even went to school sick yesterday and worked on patients and took about 40 teeth x rays and that and the one patient was being a dick. SUCK IT UP. I hate mouth x rays but i don't bitch get some balls please. Hopefully the next 3 days will be the shit I swear I will not be here and like dying like this. at all. Dani is an awesome friend I gotta say,got me ciggs for washing his comforter. Ugh I feel like shit right now and really I should go to sleep for a while,been intaking loads of pills,soup and water. Thats all.


Cruelly yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2009|10:27 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |my room]
[Feeling |tiredtired]

So new years eve was awesome. I got myself all dressed up and went out with Jack,Erick and Danielle. We went to a gay club which was so fun and seeing as they were all that way. It was so fun,open bar and lots of people. I danced for hours til 2:30 almost.I had to take my heels off as my feet hurt from dancing. Danced with all my friends and got pretty buzzed and everyone was very very friendly. Then I slept at danielle's house and now I am nursing a killer hangover. Well thats it really.

Cruelly yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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So what if you can see the darker side of me... [Dec. 14th, 2008|06:54 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My Room]
[Feeling |contemplativecontemplative]
[Screaming |Pain-Three Days Grace]

So more writing.This weekend was one of the most fun ever.Hung out with Janice and Tina. We went bar hopping and Janice man or whatever came. We drank and her friend Zoela and Keith came as well. We then got a motel for all of us to chill in. Stayed up mad late.Still am awake as well. Slept over Janice's house and that. I am just thinking now and deep in thought. Have a thing for someone and I have no idea where it is going to take me or what to do,but you know you only have one life to live so why not go for it.I am so fuckin tired now and have school tomorrow.A damn midterm and I haven't even studied for it yet. Really bad. I NEED to pass it and I think I will do good because I have gotten good grades all year so far.I just can't wait for the damn weekend already and such. I just want to relax really and maybe I should do that now heh.Well thats all.


Cruelly yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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(no subject) [Dec. 8th, 2008|09:07 pm]
::.x Ka † e x .::
[Current Location |My room]
[Feeling |thoughtfulthoughtful]

So I find myself writing again because I feel better when I do.
So I hooked up with someone I shouldn't have yet again. But there was always an awkward tension and attraction there. I knew it was very wrong and I shouldn't but yet I didn't stop and felt myself being pulled further and further and yes I felt bad because he had a girlfriend and it wsa just wrong. Idk what to do or even think now ugh. Well anyway aside from that I hung out at Tony's with my cousin this weekend and it was really fun seeing their new apartment and watching some dvds and we also went to Panera as well.
It was a really fun weekend aside from snow.Well thats all really

Cruelly yours,
-x-X-Kate-X-x-
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